Motherhood Milestones

The wife of a friend of mine posted her thoughts on an article she read about Motherhood milestones & then her experiences with each one. I thought it was very thought-provoking, so I thought I would do it too. I'd love to know your answers as well!

Milestone #1: Admitting you can't do it alone.
For me this came a week after Ava was born. With all of the hormones & such that come after giving birth I remember having this weird protective emotion to her...I wanted people to hold her & such, it was just that I wanted it understood that she was MINE. It's all very weird to me now, but that's what I was feeling. I was especially keen on making sure Todd understood that as well. Then after about a week I snapped back into reality (thank goodness) and realized that this parenting thing was so much easy with 2 people involved (and the rest of the village).

Milestone #2: Realizing you're actually someone's mother.
Perhaps I'm still working on this one. I'm not sure when this hit exactly, but I know the impact of it all has deepened as my girls have grown older (yes, they are ancient at 1 & 2). Moments when in the middle of the night I hear my name being called, or when I'm the only one who can calm or cheer. This is also apparent when the girls mimic me, which they do a lot, it's a humbling & fascinating thing.

Milestone #3: Doing Mom duty--in public.
My friend took this to mean nursing. I'm going along the lines of having to discipline in public. Again, I don't have a specific first memory of feeling humiliated. I've always said I'd rather appear like the Tyrant Mom who won't let her kid get away with anything than the Lenient Mom who's kid gets away with murder. There are always moments, though, that are out of your control. Like about a month ago when Ava wanted to go to the toy section of WalMart. I told her "no, no right now" or something to that effect. She stood firm, crying loudly about her desires. I repeated my answer & walked off (still being able to see her). I went to the frame section where I needed to go & she remained for a few minutes. Then when she decided she's give in, she came running (still upset) toward me. Moments later she knocked over part of the aisle display on top of herself. I was ready to go into hiding & never venture in public with her ever again. :)

Milestone #4: Making a mom friend.
I had lots of Mom friends in Nacogdoches who all knew me pre-motherhood, but when I moved to Waco I arrived as a mother. I found this dynamic a little challenging. Ava was not able to walk & so I wasn't sure about attending playgroup. So I waited until she was up on her feet. I think it took me months to feel accepted- not necessarily due to my playgroup Moms, it was just all so new to me- a new identity. The first playgroup Moms that helped me get over this were Michalann, Michele, & Leah. Thanks to those pretty ladies!

Milestone #5: Feeling human again.
I haven't had issues with this for the most part. I have always thought of it as separate identities almost. I am me & I am also a mother. My personality is exhibited through my girls personalities. Ava is the energetic social side of me & Sydnee is the pensive and kind side of me. Being a mother is just part of who I am, I have never stopped being myself, although I continue to change & grow.

Milestone #6: Laughing at motherhood
I don't think I laughed about it until Sydnee was born & motherhood with 2 seemed so much harder. I think having 2 so close together made me relax to a point because I had to let go of some ideas & opinions. It forced me into a more typical LDS mother role to be successful. The idea of being everyone still in their pajamas at lunch time is more than probable, it is often a reality.

Milestone #7: Handling the impossible.
Refer to #6, it has been difficult for me with having 2- but I wouldn't change it. I think the timing of all of it was such a strain on me that it caught me so off guard. I found out I was pregnant the month Todd decided we were moving. We were moving to a new town, had no place to call home until our house sold (thank goodness for the Prices!), I had to leave a lot of comforts, & I already had a baby to try to take care of- remember Ava was 6 months old when I became pregnant with Sydnee. Man, we're crazy! And then Sydnee came- sweet & cuddly & the loudest, highest pitched screamer I've ever known.

Milestone #8: Believing you're a good mom.
There are only moments of this one. I'm not convinced I've accomplished this one yet, but hope for the future. I have moments, though, where I feel like maybe I'm doing alright. Like when Ava accidentally does something & hugs me & says, "Sorry Mommy". Or when Sydnee communicates to me that she wants me to pick her up "peez". It's too early to tell I think. The way that they love me despite my MANY faults helps me know that I can keep going & that I'm doing my best. So, we'll see...I can only hope! :)