Here.

I love being an Aggie. I've never been real quiet about it, and probably a bit obnoxious at times. A&M was the only school I applied for, even though I could have made it into other schools, so I'm glad they let me in. I began as a Freshman in the Fall of 1997 as a psychology major, communications minor. Oddly enough, I graduated with those as well- it is not unusual for a student to change their majors more than once. Another odd note, Todd never changed his major either. I wonder if that says something about us...hmmm...did I mention I love psychology?

Anyhow, shortly after Todd and I began dating in the Fall of 1999- our institute group was going to camp out on campus- along with hundreds of others- to be the first to buy our tickets for the Aggie vs. t.u game (we call the University of Texas little "t", little "u" because we feel we are the real university in the great state of Texas- whoop!). Anyhow, Todd and I signed up to participate in the camp-out, and had a great time of playing cards, studying here and there, and spending time with friends.

Very early in the morning there was a lot of commotion going on on campus, noises, yelling, people running by. Finally we were told that our beloved Bonfire had collapsed. People were rushing over there to offer medical aide, to move the scattered logs, and the madness of the incident echoed through the campus. No one really knew the extent of the tragedy then. Being so early in the morning, I didn't call my family, but I did call my roommate. Cell phones weren't what they are now. I had one, even probably had it with me- but it was unreliable and died easily. When my family was awaken early in the morning by my aunt checking to make sure I was OK- they were panicked not being able to reach me. Finally, they gave the responsibility to my sister- who knew she could find me. She was able to reach my roommate a few hours before I called home to let them know I was OK. I lived off campus, so it was unusual for me to be on campus at that time of night, which added to the worry of my family.

The next day I remained glued to the TV as they announced the growing number of injuries and deaths. I had 1 class to go to that day, and it was in the afternoon. Walking on campus was like walking in a morgue. Our usual routine of "Howdys" and friendly smiles was replaced by sadness and confusion in the eyes of all Aggies. I told my Mom that it was the saddest place to be on Earth. As the days continued, so did the news...12 Aggies dead, and 1 barely hanging on. To those who don't know our traditions- 12 is a special number with our "12th Man" tradition, so the campus- and all Aggies everywhere prayed that the number would lock at 12. It was symbolic in a way, and so it stayed at 12 & the 13th lives on.

My parents & I were planning to have Thanksgiving in College Station. They had tickets to the game, and it was intended to be a fun family event for my parents, brother, and me. The night before the big game, there was a candle vigil held in memory of the 12 at the site of the fallen Bonfire. It was emotional to the core, and yet amazingly healing. The patrons of the vigil then collected at the stadium for Midnight Yell. I don't remember exactly what happened at Yell, but my most solid memory was looking around and seeing thousands of people with their candles fill the stadium of the school we loved. Amazing grace was heard beginning and ending all around us. It was a solemn night of remembering the fallen, the injured, and the school we loved.

As a small side note, years after the tragedy, I heard of a story of one of the rescue responders. Being a special breed of rescuers, he had been involved in many American tragedies- including 9/11, but that he was still haunted by the Aggie Bonfire. He said that at bonfire, he was sent to recover or rescue someone still inside the wreckage. He remembered that as he searched, out of no where he discovered the body of one of the girls whom had died. He said her face was completely unharmed, it was if she were sleeping, and her perfect face untouched by the logs that had taken her life.

The next day at the big game, our respected rival played a tribute to our school during half time. You see, Longhorns and Aggies may not agree on who is better, but there is always a level of respect for the other. I can't remember all of the minor details, but I remember how I felt. The Longhorns played Amazing Grace, followed by taps, and then marched off the field with our flags raised higher than theirs. It was moving, and healing once again. The Aggie Band marched on the field without playing a single note, just marching and showing their respect for the fallen in silence. The Aggies would go on the win that game, although we were the underdog by every stretch of the word. It was a revival of spirits, a reason to be happy again, an awaking of the Aggie Spirit.

Those that have not been a part of Texas A&M may not understand why students would spend their precious time building a big stack of wood, but there are many things that bond an Aggie to their school that are unexplainable. It is said that, "From the outside looking in, you can't understand it. From the inside looking out, you can't explain it." Naturally, Bonfire has officially been canceled- forever- and although I understand and support their reasoning, it makes me wonder if the falling of those timbers chipped away at the heart of our school. I have heard that the football games aren't attended (maybe that's because our record is lousy), and that things that were important "back in my day" have been replaced with study halls, books, and the academic side of A&M. I will hope not, though, because there is nothing like being greeted by strangers everyday with a "Howdy". There's nothing cooler than watching the Aggie band march at half-time, and there's nothing more fulfilling that being with the "12th Man" on the sideline at the football games. Yes, A&M is an academic institution, difficult to get into and even harder to stay put, but A&M used to also emphasize the importance of a leader, & the integrity of a individual.

One of the more spiritual traditions of A&M is Muster. Muster is an event that honors those whom have passed that year. Thousands gather in an auditorium and wait. When the name of someone you know is read, you answer, "Here." Meaning, that despite that person's passing, their spirit lives on in you. So once again, 10 years later. I'll respond, "Here" for the 12 that gave their lives in the Spirit of Aggieland. I thank them for what they represent to us, the Aggies, and I hope to live in a way that would make any Aggie say, she's one of us.

Gig'Em Aggies