Last night after the girls were in bed and before Todd had come home from his fireside- I was just goofing off a bit on the computer. I checked my friends' blogs, FB, etc...anyhow on our family blog we have a little counter that says how big the baby is and how much longer I have to go. WELL! I have a melon in this belly with a little over 5 weeks to go. When I clicked to see more information- it said that I should have my hospital bag packed and to be resting as much as possible. Well, that sent me into panic-mode. I didn't have my bag packed! We're still so unsure about what to do when the baby comes, and WHOA- I have to give birth again, and people- it hurts! I was reading on the list about the things to bring and it reminded me of the pain...hello, wasn't thinking about that at all! Guess there's no way around it, though! Anyhow- it gets worse! Once Todd got home and saw what I was looking at he wanted to see a drawing of what the baby looked like right now. So I went to BabyCenter.com where I had kept up with that stuff with my other two and logged in all of the information. I hadn't updated Sydnee's status since she was born and it reminded me of her actual due date- which was 6 days before her due date. So SO SO! That means that BOTH of my babies have not made it to their due date! Ava was 9 days early and Sydnee- although it was a scheduled- was 6 days early! Whoa, people! And that all means... my due date is 4 weeks and 9 days away! Are ya with me? Panic Mode!!! And then there's the whole vehicle thing, so don't even get me started on that- but I think we have confirmed that if we do get a newer vehicle- we'll get a Honda Odyssey. So there- that's my present hysteria.
Moving on....
Yesterday was really good. After church Brandy and I did birthday visits to 4 sisters in the ward who have a birthday in January. The visits were all really nice. There are 30 women with birthdays in January- so we're trying to get to all of them, but we're behind so far! We are also trying to get the VT interviews done- so we're CRAZY busy. Anyhow, the last sister we went to visit was in the hospital. She is presently in the Medical ICU, so we went in and talked to her, but she was asleep and unresponsive. I had not met her before because she has not physically been able to go to church for years. Anyhow, she was one of the founders of the church in the Waco area, and is loved by many of the long-timers here. We also have another sister in the hospital fighting stomach cancer. I love this lady, so I hope she can kick this. And although it sounds like a lot for 1 person to be thinking about- in addition to my own crisis- I'm grateful to it. Being in this calling gives me a badge to care for people in a way that perhaps I wouldn't on my own. It gave Brandy and I the "right" to walk into a hospital and visit a sister whom we didn't know, leave her with a note and prayer- so that when she woke, she would know that someone from the Relief Society came by to show her love. In my service I often think about being on the other side of the service- meaning the receiver. We all need a little love every once in a while whether it is the form of a visit, a prayer, a hug, a smile, or a card. I'm grateful this calling pushes me in the forefront to be on the thinking-end of it all. Who is in need? Who wants to hear from me today? Who needs my smile, my hug, my visit, my card? It is a blessing. It keeps me grounded and closer to the person I want to be. I've eaten a lot of humble pie to get to the place I'm in now and I know I still have a ways to go, but I'm in a good place. I don't know exactly when I'll be released, but I am grateful for the 2 years I've served. I think it took me 1 year to get over the shock, 1 year to keep my chin above water, and now I am seeing more clearly the blessings that this calling has given me. I grateful the Lord saw me as a leader for the women in Waco, even when I did/do not.
SO, that's what's on my mind today. Pretty deep, huh?
Now then...when did my house get so messy? Actually, its not- but I think that nesting phase is in full force because dust in corners of the hallways is driving me nuts.
5 comments:
Take a deep breath. It all sounds overwhelming, but you can ask for help. Let me know if you need the girls to come over to play. You can do it.
Relax- everything will work out :0)
Wow, at least you have two experiences to base what your outcome with the third baby might be. I only have one and she decided to come three weeks early. Who knows when the second one will appear for me but I'm kind of bummed because I just realized that I probably won't be able to spend Easter with family this year on account that that is a few weeks before my due date. My hospital bag maybe had a few things in it when I had to go. My husband had to bring other things. Talk about way unprepared!! It will all work out. It always does. :)
oh, i so relate ti the panic mode. I remember hitting that with Azure pretty hard. You are going to be great. Say that a few times to yourself and you'll calm down.
Don't worry, you survived it all before and you will do great this time around. Make a list and then breathe, you'll make it through.
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