Somwhere between repentant & justified...

*RANTING WARNING*
I remember in college reading about a study done on heat & road rage. There is a direct link to high temperatures & higher tempers. I remember thinking at the time that Texas was in trouble! Today I witnessed what a little heat can do.

We've had a horrific day. As you may or may not know, our house air condition has gone out. Great timing, huh? So I didn't want to spend the day here melting away, but I'm also tired from yesterday (drove to College Station & back with the 2 little ones). So, the heat won out & we headed to Target for some baby shower shopping. At Target, Ava was not well behaved & kept running off. I could have skinned her alive <---a phrase my mother used. She was finally sent to the dungeon (the inside of the cart) to remain for the rest of the time, and was fine. A confession- a couple of weeks ago the lady checking me out had frustrated me by asking me some question I felt was dumb (I don't remember now) and then I had to repeat myself twice (which is a button for me) to answer her. I had to respond loudly & slowly, "NO I DO NOT"...to whatever question she asked. I'm sure she could sense my frustration in having to repeat myself while trying to maintain control over my 2 girls. She responded by saying, "I'm sorry." I felt her sorrow in that she didn't mean to cause problems & I felt horrible for speaking in an unkind tone. I had decided I would send her a card to apologize, but I had not been able to get my act together to do it due to all of the stuff going on...blah blah blah...anyways, she was there today. I thought, oh good, I can do this in person, but when I got up to her line (which took some courage) I couldn't do it. I felt embarrassed & humiliated & I knew I would start crying. So I was kind, said my goodbyes and walked away regretting my lack of courage. I did get her name, "Ha" ironic, isn't it? So I can send the card today.

Unfortunately, the day gets worse on all levels. I'm still feeling bad about my lack of courage...
On the way home I realize that we're going to need some fans or we'll burn up. Why did I remember at Target? Ugh. So I go to WalMart on the way home. Ava is immediately put in the cart- no negotiation. Everything is fine at WalMart, except the wait...which I have no control over, so I simmer. I decide to avoid coming back to the house as long as possible- so I think I'll take the girls to McDonalds, we really NEVER go there...so this is a little treat, I guess. Well I don't know what the problem was but McDonald's reputation for a "well oiled machine" was one rusky old clunker today! It took FOREVER to get our food, we weren't the only ones, there were tons of people just waiting there. One man told them they needed to get their act together, I couldn't agree more. So there were a lot of people just standing there, but I was the only one with an ill-mannered little girl. Okay, perhaps she was just a little girl who was hungry & could not understand what was taking so long! But after her behavior at Target, she was already on my nerves. So we get our food, the girls are doing fine. All is hunky-dory. Then Ava is finished & wants to play outside on their playground. (Breathe- I can feel myself getting mad again!) The door to the playground is locked. So I ask a lady who is cleaning up if there is a reason it is locked. She says the manager just forgot to unlock it & she'll let them know. So she finishes her cleaning job (yes we are just standing there waiting) and tells the manager. The manager does nothing, maybe says "okay" or something like that. The lady at the counter ask if I wanted to order something- I said "No, we are waiting on the playground to be unlocked." So after another several minutes I go up to the counter and ask the lady when the playground is going to be unlocked. She says the manager has to do it (this counter person, I can tell she knew I was about to blow)...it was well over 5 minutes ago that the other lady asked her to unlock it. So I turned to the manager- who is right there- continuing to make other people's orders. And say loudly, HOW MUCH LONGER IS IT GOING TO BE? She doesn't look up, she "apologizes" and says just a minute...and so I respond HOW ABOUT NOW? Let me just say I never behave this way. I am normally so patient! I know people are just trying their best- but what about a Mom just trying to do her best? Ava & Sydnee just wanted to play outside on the playground...at McDonalds! The manager did walk over to the locked door & unlock it, which took a total of maybe 15 seconds...
So that is where the title comes in. I'm sorry AGAIN for behaving badly. I am sorry that I wasn't as patient as I could have been, but I am still angry that I was blown off so easily. It took a matter of second to let us outside to the playground. Couldn't those fries just wait a second? Did I mention it's hot in here?